I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
