Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
