So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
