do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
