I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
