Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
