We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
