i think i have two assholes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize