i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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