I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize