Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
