I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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