eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm like, not good at living.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
