ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How's work?
Spinning.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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