She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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