Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
