I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Terrible idea I love it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
