do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize