i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
