i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
its not stalking. its research.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
