i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
