I looked at my own cervix.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
