so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
