I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
