yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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