Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
