I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
