i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
