his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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