at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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