is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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