Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
