What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
