I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
