Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize