she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
