weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
