just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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