So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Say something about gay babies.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
