can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
