Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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