Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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