My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Vodka?
Forever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
