All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
