So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
