We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
