No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
