I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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