R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
