From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
