awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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