he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
