You really coming over, don't trick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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