I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
