$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
