in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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