Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it because I queefed?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
