I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
