I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
