Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
