he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
