i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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