told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
