I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
