S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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