i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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