hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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