she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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